Not About Me

As the time draws closer to shipping out for basic training I find myself starting to feel a little nervous and a little anxious and even a bit excited. I haven't had much time to think about basic training what with working non-stop and trying to keep things at home clean and organized. However, I'm about to have two weeks off in which I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to fret and worry, as is my custom with everything in life.

Mostly, I think, it's a confidence issue. That I have none. Which is a big part of the reason I'm joining. I want to become a more confidant and strong woman. I know I'm out of shape and not physically ready for basic training. But I also know the whole point of basic training is to get you ready and no matter how hard it is they are going to make sure I'm ready before I graduate. But the big thing is I know it's all mental. If I can get in the right mindset I can do it. I have to believe in myself. I have to really really want it. I have to not let their yelling get to me or those horrid thoughts that always sneak in when I'm not careful. You know the ones that say you're a loser. You don't have what it takes. You'll never make it.

But my recruiter told me something the other day that really put things in a different perspective. I've been so focused on me and how I'm going to get through basic. But I'm going to be there with a lot of other girls, most of them young and barely out of their teens, who will also be scared and going through a hard time. And, as I will probably be one of the older girls there, he suggested maybe I do the best I can and also serve as a mentor for the younger girls. Encourage them. Be their cheerleader. Be there if they're having a hard time and help them. I know we'll all have to help each other through basic. And I don't expect to be anywhere near the best there by any means. But if I can just focus outwardly on others and stop focusing on me maybe, as a team, I'll get through it. And it won't be so scary having friends there alongside you the whole way. :-)

Reasons I Joined the Air Force

1. I want to build my confidence.

2. I'll get to learn a new language.

3. I'll have a steady paycheck.

4. GREAT benefits.

5. The chance to further my education.

6. More job opportunities when I get out.

7. The chance to travel and see the world.

Bravery

Bravery is a woman who walks away from a bad relationship even though she still loves him with all her heart.

Bravery is a child who tries to stop his father from hurting his sister.

Bravery is a soldier who pushes through the pain and fear, just hoping the fight will have mattered to somebody.

Bravery is a small cat chasing a large dog.

Bravery is a man who thinks he has nothing to live for making the choice to try just one more day.

We should all try to do one thing every day we're afraid of doing.

Got Game?

No matter how much I try I've never really been able to get into games. I love spending an evening with friends laughing and drinking and playing board games, but video games or any kind of game you play by yourself have never really interested me.

My husband, who works at a gaming store and is close to being obcessed with video games, has tried to find the perfect game for me. And, at long last, I think he's done it. For my birthday he bought me the Nintendo DSi game, Professor Leyton and the Diabololical Box. It's a puzzle game mostly. You have to solve puzzles as you go along in order to solve this mystery. I haven't put the darn thing down for the last two days. Lol.

He also bought me Sims 3 World Adventures. Which I also have not been able to stop playing. I don't know what it is but I love being able to escape into a world where I can create the perfect me and the perfect life of my dreams and decorate my perfect house and all of that.

So, now, along with WOW, I have Sims and Professor Leyton to keep me busy in the few spare mintues of free time I can find each day between work and working out. For anyone out there who still reads these blogs when I post, I'd love to know, what's your all time favorite game and why?

What I'll miss about East Texas

Interviews

I think what I miss most about being a journalist, more than the writing even, was the interview. Sometimes I got to talk to semi-famous people. Other times big names in the communtity. It felt kind of cool that the mayor and our local house representatives knew me by name. It felt cool to be right on the front of every major event or happening. And, I loved to interview people who had overcome great adversity. People who inspire. People who did great things with their lives. To find out what it feels like to be them. What goes through their minds and their hearts at the pintacle of the excitement or tragedy. I loved talking to them and hearing their stories. And I guess that's what I wanted my career to be. I wanted to be the storyteller. I wanted to be the medium, the pen and paper, that told their stories. So that others might be inspired to great or greater things. Who knows what the future holds. Maybe I'll stay in the Air Force and retire one day. Maybe I'll become a linguist or a flight attendant. Maybe I'll practice psychology. Maybe I'll return to my first love, journalism. Or maybe I'll actually write a book. Either way I'll always remember my job at LDN as more than just a job and a paycheck but as a passion.

Christmas in NYC

So I defintely think one of the next few years, before we have kids preferably, I want Josh and I to spend one Christmas in NYC. I'm not a city girl at all. I'm more of a country lover wannabe. But, just once, I'd like to visit New York at Christmas. Think how beautiful and romantic it could be. First of all, it actually snows there. And I'm sure they have downtown lighted up so beautifully. We could kiss in front of Rockefeller Center. We could go ice skating together. We could walk together, holding hands, downtown and look in all the pretty shop windows. Sneak into a bar real quick to warm up a bit. Or grab some hot cocoa. Yep, I defintely think, maybe next year or the year after, we'll have to spend Christmas in New York.

Adventure

It's so much easier to turn a bad situation into an exciting one when you consider it an adventure. For example, think of what a great story you'll be able to tell later to your friend. When Josh, Robert and I were at Tokyo Disneyland we had a lot of fun. At the end of the night we sat down in front of the castle to watch the Halloween fireworks. And right then it started raining. The rain soon turned to a downpour. Everyone, including us, the only white American, English speaking folks in the crowd, ran for cover inside the castle. But the wind picked up and the rain came down harder and faster so soon it flooded the ground. It came into the stores so all our feet were cold and wet. After a while, with screaming Japanese girls running inside, we decided we had to brave the weather and head back before we missed our train back to our hotel for the night. So out we went, the three of us, with no umbrella or jackets. We waded through the flood of water, up past our ankles, to the train station, braving the cold and wet downpour. We finally reached the train, and dripped all over the floor, soaked through and shivering but at least safe from mother nature for little while. I don't think I've ever felt so happy to reach a hotel, strip of my sopping wet clothes, hop into a warm shower and then wrap myself in the toasty warmth and comfort of blankets while the storm raged outside. It's funny how adventures can make you appreciate the little things so much more.