Pet Peeve

I am grateful for all the help and advice I'm getting from so many people on how to raise my son and I admit I don't know the first thing about babies but am learning as I go. However, I am getting sick and tired of all the advice from people telling me to just let Justace "cry it out" and that "it's good for him and good for his lungs." I may not be an expert but I am his mother and I say that's BS. God gave him the ability to cry and scream for a reason! It's basically the same thing as if your car alarm goes off and you just ignore it waiting for the battery to die. He's crying for a reason! I just have to figure out what that reason is. Also I don't believe that right now is the time to teach him discipline or to train him. There will be a time for that and it will be soon but for right now he's not even 3 months old yet and first I need to make him trust me and feel safe and secure. Now is the time for me to cuddle him and love on him and give him tons of hugs and kisses and help him feel protected and safe. Once he's there and he's older then I can begin to train him and discipline him. OK, rant over. Thanks for listening guys.

Baseball

Summertime is baseball season. It's one of the many things I love about summer. I haven't watched many games since Justace was born but have been at least keeping track of my favorite team, the Astros, despite their horrible season this year.

First, I want to talk about this boy who several years ago was hit by a bat during a baseball game. He suffered severe brain damage and was recently awarded $14.5 million for it...or actually his parents were awarded the money since they are now his caretakers forever. I want to say first that this type of thing really is very sad and horrible. My heart goes out to his family and to him as well. I'm sure anyone would want for that accident to have not happened. However, I think it's ridiculous to sue the company that made the bat. Sports are a good thing for young people to get into but they can be dangerous. Freak accidents do happen. It sucks a lot but sometimes people get hurt when playing sports. It shouldn't be anyone's fault that this horrible thing happened and I think it's wrong for people to always be suing every time something bad happens in life. I'm sorry but a lot of times nobody is to blame for these things. It's just bad luck.

As far as my Astros go, they have had a horrible season this summer. It's been hard to watch their games and hard to stay a true fan. But recently they fired our manager and some coaches. In addition we've got all new guys. I'm hoping maybe this is a good chance for a fresh start now. Next season they will be in a whole new league with new uniforms even. It's almost like a whole brand new team for Houston really. So here's to hoping next season is a brand new season with a brand new team and baseball for Houston fans will be much more fun to watch and root for than it was this summer.

12 Weeks

Justace still hates tummy time but I have a system down. I don't put him on tummy time at night anymore because I figure night time is the time to relax and wind down and tummy time just upsets him so much. But I set my alarm and everyday at 10am and 1pm and 5pm he gets 15 minutes of tummy time on the floor. Yesterday during his morning session he just slept the whole time which is fine by me. The second session he screamed the whole time. But the third session he actually spent the first 7 or 8 minutes pushing himself up on his arms to look around. I was so proud of him and so relieved he was actually trying. Of course he did give up and scream the last half but I'm hoping if I stick with this routine eventually he will get used to it and won't hate it quite so much. My friend Shay's little girl just turned 6 months and she is now up on all fours. Can't wait till he gets there too. He might be a little behind because I didn't put him on tummy time for so long because I hated listening to him scream but I'm sure he will catch up in time.

I don't want him to grow up too fast and I love this time I have now but still I can't wait until I no longer have to change diapers!!! He pees so much! I feel like my whole day is nothing but diaper changing and feeding still.

Things are so different and so much better now than they were when I first brought him home. He sleeps pretty much through the night most nights now and we have a nice little daily routine down. I've gotten the hang of a lot of things and he's also getting the hang of things too.

We're still struggling financially but I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the anonymous donor paid off our huge hospital debt. I really don't think I've ever felt more grateful for anything in my life.

Spiritually I'm getting back on track too. I don't plan on going to church because honestly I just don't want to go right now and also it's a real pain with not having a car and not knowing people here too well and not wanting to be Mormon. But I have been praying every morning so that's a start.

My fitness isn't great. I gave up on doing Insanity but I have been going on walks with Justace 3 times a day and I've started doing pushups and situps and squats 3 times a week. I've pretty much stayed the same weight which is bad since I'm not losing any but good that at least I'm not gaining any either. Once winter comes and I can't go on walks I plan on going to the gym every morning here and jogging and lifting weights.

Josh's friend Tristan moved in this past week upstairs. Not much is different there since he came over almost every night. I don't mind having him here. He's nice and helpful and a good friend.

11 Weeks

Update: I have not been posting photos because I lost my USB drive for my memory card for my camera. So until I either find it or buy a new one I will not be able to get my pictures off my camera and onto my computer.

Justace turns his head to look at me when I talk to him now and he can hold his head pretty steady by himself when I pick him now. I can't wait until he is old enough to start eating solid food. Formula is so expensive! And he eats so much! He eats about 6oz per feeding and eats every 2 or 3 hours. Thankfully, this week, he finally started sleeping through the night!!! He falls asleep around 8pm and I wake him at 10pm for one last feeding before bed. He then will sleep until between 4:30am or 6:30am. It's so nice to finally be able to sleep all night without having to get up and feed him.

He loves his toy gym we got him. He has practically mastered the art of getting his tiger to play music by making the ball spin around on it. But after a while if he hits it and it doesn't play him a song he gets angry and starts fussing. And he HATES tummy time so much! The doctor said at his last appointment it's very important he has tummy time every day no matter what because his head is starting to get flat in the back and also to help him build motor skills and muscles. But he hates it. He just lies on his stomach and screams the whole time. He doesn't try to lift himself up or do anything. Just lies there and screams. It's torture for me too. But if the doc says then we will just have to get used to it. Maybe after a while he will get used to it and grow to like it...like his baths.

10 Weeks

Justace just keeps getting more and more active during the day. He smiles and coos and talks to us more and more each day. He giggles and laughs. Still working on rattles. He likes when I shake them for him and he laughs and watches them but if I try to get him to hold one himself he will grasp it and then immediately let it go. He won't hold on to it himself. He loves his baths now. He calms down as soon as I put him in the warm water and sometimes if he's feeling playful he will laugh and splash some. And he loves his baby gym! He just plays with the toys on it for almost an hour sometimes before he's ready to go back to sleep again.

Things with me and Josh are good. Everybody always told me that having a baby puts a real strain on your relationship and alot of couples can't handle it. But, if anything, I think it's actually brought us closer together. Josh is a great dad and great helper when I'm tired and stressed out or just need a break from Justace for a while or a nap. I got sick this past week and he let me sleep all day and all night while he took over baby duty. But, just in case baby time starts taking over, we have tried to schedule alone and date time for us. We can't afford to go out a lot but we spend time together each evening after I put Justace to bed watching comedies and this past Friday we went to a drive in theater which was a lot of fun! And it was a full moon which was beautiful to look at while watching Spider Man.

9 weeks

Justace is 9 weeks old today. He had his shots yesterday and had a bad reaction to them. Got a fever and has been miserable and crying since then. We've been giving him medicine every 3 hours and letting him sleep all day. Hopefully he will feel better tomorrow. So he now weighs 12 lbs 6 oz and is 22 inches in length. So, basically, he started out tiny in comparison to most newborns and in 2 months is still not very big in length but is huge in weight for his age. We're raising a little porker.

I still can't believe it's been 2 months since he was born! He's already started laughing a little now and then. He started smiling a while ago but his smiles are getting so much bigger and more frequent. He especially smiles a lot in the morning and after a feeding when I'm playing with him and talking to him. He still cries a lot in the evenings before bed. But sometimes when I play silly games with him or read or talk to him or even in his sleep sometimes he'll giggle.

We have a bedtime ritual every night. I feed him a bottle. Then I give him a bath and put him in his PJs. I read him a picture book then put him to bed. It seems to work well. He only usually wakes for 1 feeding during the night and it's not usually till he's slept for 5 or 6 hours. I still rock him to sleep when he's upset. I don't feel he's old enough yet to allow him to cry himself to sleep. He doesn't understand just yet and will just feel alone and abandoned by me. When he's really having trouble sleeping, like right now when he's sick and not feeling well, I will stay by his bassinet all night and day and rock him and read to him until he falls asleep again.

I am no longer exhausted all the time. Instead I am loving life as a mom. I get plenty of time to myself when he's sleeping still or contentedly playing by himself. I read so many books now. Josh and I haven't let a new baby slow us down too much. We still go out sometimes and whenever we go tot he store or anywhere we take him with us. He loves driving in the car on long car rides and he loves getting to see new places. He smiles and just looks all around wherever we take him.

I talk to Justace all the time and read to him. I sing him songs and let him listen to music and audio books when I'm busy.

The carrier my mother bought me has been a huge lifesaver. I can wear him when I am doing dishes or when he's upset and won't go to sleep. He falls right asleep on my chest when I'm wearing him and I don't have to carry him around all day long so my hands are free. He pretty much loves a clean diaper and a bottle and then being held for a while.