Year in Review

This past year has been insanely bad. It started out well with a trip to Las Vegas for me and my husband. We had lots of fun and I will never forget that. Seeing Vegas lit up for Christmas is a must see sight for everyone I think.

But I was struggling in tech school. Briefing was not getting any easier for me and yet my instructors continued to pass me through with high scores. This, even though I shook and my mind went blank every time I had to get up and brief. Once I hit Lonestar and the stakes were higher and the pressure was harder and there was just so much to do I couldn't keep up. And I failed. Again and again and again.

In the middle of all of this my husband had a terrible car accident that landed him in the ICU with a crushed femur. I asked to be allowed to go home to be with him. This was tough for both of us, but especially for him since he had to stay with my parents alone waiting for me to pass my final test. I stayed with him for a few weeks and was so grateful for that. But then it was back to tech school and Lonestar where I failed yet again. This time there was no retries. I was to be separated from the Air Force.

I ended up with an honorable discharge but in an economy as bad as the one we face now little hope of finding a good job any time soon. Josh and I moved to Idaho to try to save some money.

And two months later, though I didn't know it yet, a new little addition to the family began to grow in my belly. When I discovered I was pregnant all I felt was shock and disbelief. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. Once I realized this was going to happen since I don't believe in abortion and didn't think I could give up my child then I had to face telling others. I was so afraid of what my parents and friends would say. But I was so lucky to discover once I finally called and told people how supportive everyone would be.

Even my parents, who I expected to very upset and maybe even disown me, after some time, came to terms with it and became very encouraging and supportive. I've been so thankful for all this love and support since I've been fighting my own fears and doubts about this baby.

But baby James is going to be a blessing, one way or another. We will make this work somehow and I really hope to be a good mom to him. He's pretty much my whole world now and he's not even close to being born yet. He will join us the end of May of this new year.

Josh got a job at Wal-Mart which while it sucks is a major blessing just because it is a full time job with benefits and those are so hard to come through now and especially here in Idaho.

Our house, well our parents house, that we are living in, is a wreck. We moved in in order to save our money and pay off some of our debts and get our lives back on track. But the septic tank broke. We had to pay $500 for that. The heater has been broken off and on the whole winter. When it gets down to below 0 some nights that makes life almost unbearable with little to no heat inside. But this new year I've decided to make the best of it. As long as we are forced to live here I will make it my home as much as possible. I've already started with our dining room, taking down my mother-in-law's paintings and putting up paintings I received for Christmas last year from Josh and my parents. That room is now my favorite room of the house because it's OURS.

Here's to hoping this new year is so much better than the last.