Organization Plan

Talked to Josh today about how much I hate how dirty and unorganized our house is so I'm coming up with a plan to get it clean and organized over the next 6 months to a year. I figure even if we move in the meantime it'll make me feel better to do something to try and make it a little more livable. I will have weekly and monthly and long term goals. The biggest issue is not having enough space or places to put things. We have very little extra money to spend on shelves or organizing stuff for the house so I am going to very slowly month by month get stuff for the house...maybe just one thing per month to help give things a place to go. In addition each week I will focus on one area and get rid of anything we really don't need or use and find a place to put the rest. Goals for this week include:

1. Rent a pressure washer and clean the outside of our house.

2. Clean all waste baskets in the house with soap and a hose. Some of them are really nasty and smell very gross.

3. Not sure about this just yet but thinking about shopping end of season garden sales for garden tools and plants and flowers and planting some things in the yard. Everything is super cheap right now.

4. Clean out our dryer vent...it's been making a weird noise and I'm wondering if I clean the vent if it might help.

5. Ongoing for the month will be to go through all our stuff that needs to be in storage (memorabilia, old outgrown baby things, holiday stuff, etc...) and throw away or donate anything I possibly can to make some room in this house. Anything we are going to keep I will organize into categories and place in plastic bins for Josh to haul upstairs to the attic for right now.

I plan on spending one hour a day cleaning the house and at least 15 minutes a day organizing things and making trash or donate boxes. Hopefully in another 6 months or a year we will be organized. Hopefully we will also be looking for a better place to live by then and being organized will just making packing for the move that much easier.

Photo Thursday

Playing in his sprinkler pool toy.

New pajamas.

Picking cherries. He couldn't get enough.

Being silly.

Reading about cars.

Thankful Wednesday

1. Time spent with good friends eating good food and laughing.

2. Smiles and laughter from my son.

3. Nightly routine of bath and books and lullabies before bed with Justace.

4. Waking up with my man snuggled up against one side of me and my cat and dog snuggled up against the other side.

5. Three days off work that have been so relaxing and filled with time spent with Josh and Justace and friends.

115 lbs

115 lbs. Didn't do well this week again on diet and working out. I went running Monday but that is all. We skipped walking the dogs most days because we were either too busy or I had to work or it was just way too hot. Won't be able to run again today because I really can't run except at night but tonight we have a bbq to go to and most likely will not want to go running afterwards. I should be off work the next 3 days though so maybe I will go running tomorrow to make up for tonight. And we have two bbq dinners to go to...one tonight and one Thursday night so our diet is probably going out the window this week.

My biggest thing I want to focus on, besides running and walking the dogs and doing pushup and situps and squats, is I really need to try to give up soda. I love Coke and Dr. Pepper and while I don't drink it as often as some people do, I really need to not drink it at all except perhaps on special occasions. It's very addicting and adds way too many calories and bad things to my body. So my new weight loss/health goal is to stop drinking soda. I've been pretty good about drinking water every day. I set an alarm on my phone to go off every 15 minutes to remind me to drink water and that works pretty well.

117 lbs

I got off my diet and exercise plan for just one week and gained back 4 lbs. I'm currently 117lbs again. Did good today though. Not as good on the diet but I did take each dog for 2 walks today and I did go to the track and jog/walk for 30 minutes after I put Justace down. I must say having the right music really makes jogging less like torture. I need to really make sure to stick to my exercise plan and at least try to eat somewhat healthy this week again.

Twelve Years of Slave

Just finished reading Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup. This book, written in 1853 by a man kidnapped in the North and sold into slavery in the South where he lived as a slave for some very harsh men for 12 years before finally being saved by one gentleman who risked his life in order to try and free Northup. Didn't know it at the time but just found out they are making this into a movie this year which will star Brad Pitt and Benedict Cumberbatch (who plays Sherlock Holmes in a recent TV series and also played the most recent Star Trek movie.) I'm very excited to see the movie when it comes out.

I like the book because it had a happy ending. Don't get me wrong...now and then I like a book that makes me cry. I love Jodi Piccoult when I really just want a good cry but deep down when I read a book I want a happy ending. I want to know that despite all the suffering and fear and awful things that happen it all ends right eventually. And the fact that this isn't fiction but a real life account of what he experienced makes it all the more happy at the end when he is at last reunited with his family after all the years of torture and hardship he endured. Makes me feel like no matter how bad my life gets it's not that bad and hopefully in the end it will all be OK again.

Also, there are some definite good and definite bad guys in the story. I like stories where you can clearly see the villians and the heroes. I like to hate that horrible bad guy and love that good guy who saves the day.

4th of July

Watched the fireworks at the local high school. Justace was fascinated by them.

Waiting for fireworks to start...he couldn't figure out why we were up and out after his bedtime.

Justace with a Fat Baby from the show Doctor Who.

Justace hangs out with little Hunter and Tristan during the fireworks show.

Fitness Monday

Two weeks of healthy eating and one week of running and I have lost exactly 0 lbs so far. Still 120 lbs. While this is frustrating I am trying to remember I just have to stick with it for a while to see results. In basic training I was the same weight when I graduated as when I went in but it was all muscle and no fat. Ran 2.2 miles in 30 minutes today. Pushups and the rest went out the window this past week so I will try again this week. It helps having someone to keep me accountable...and to feel a bit competitive with too...I def try to run faster when Josh is there than on my own.

Circus

A small circus came by Ashton July 3 and of course I begged for tickets to go so Josh managed to get us 2 tickets (justace was free as always). Justace had a great time watching the lion and tiger and horses and dogs and clowns. He watched until the very end even though it was so hot I almost passed out for a bit there. It was fun though.

Thanks!

I am thankful for:

1. Josh pushing me to go running at the track with him. I know it's good for both of us even if it feels like hell at the moment. Just a couple weeks and the worst part will be over.

2. An amazing husband! Seriously...amazing! Heading up blood drives in town, volunteering for VBS, becoming a Lutheran, best daddy in the world and even after a terribly long day at the blood drive comes home and comes to the bedroom to give me a kiss hello and also goodnight.

3. Friends who go out of their way to get me boxes and boxes of different kinds of syrup just because of one tiny comment I made one time about loving different types of syrup at IHOP. Sooooo many waffles for breakfasts now.

4. Feeling less depressed and less panicked than I was before...is working out and making friends and talking to others helping? Perhaps.

5. Aspen learning to sit finally! And fun times playing fetch outside with the dogs while Justace laughs and plays.

Health

Josh has decided to start a diet and exercise plan for us. We've been eating healthy and keeping track of calories for about a week. According to my personal goal I can only eat 1250 calories a day in order for me to lose 1 lb per week. Of course that is assuming I don't work out. If I work out, the amount of calories I can eat goes up. I hate it! I hate eating healthy. I miss normal food...my spaghetti or burgers or tacos or anything yummy! So far I have not lost any weight at all even though I've been so good about not going over my calories each day. I do still allow myself one or two cups of coffee a day though and most of my calories come from breakfast. I eat a huge yummy breakfast on work days in order for me to work all day and not run out of steam or get hungry. Plus, a friend has bought me TONS of different kinds of syrups in all different flavors so I like to eat waffles and try out the different flavors.

This morning was the first day of working out for us and it SUCKED! I always hear everyone talk about the "runners high" but I'm not buying it. I hate running. First, it's boring. Second, it's just miserable. All I could think of was how much pain I was in the whole time and I didn't even run the whole time. We basically ran as much as we could and then if we needed to stop and walk for a bit did so. The point was just to get out there and run or walk for 30 minutes. I ran/walked 2 miles in 30 minutes. I'm pretty sure that's slower than  I ever ran in the Air Force. I ran two laps...1/2 a mile...without stopping but after 2 laps I was dying and had to walk for a bit and then fluctuated the rest of the time between running and walking. By the end my side hurt and my lungs burned and my nose wouldn't stop running. But...as much as I HATE working out and being healthy I am going to stick with it because I really want to lose weight in my belly area and get in shape so I can feel confident in my own skin again. As it is I'm embarrassed to wear any clothes that show any skin. The plan is for us to run Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings and to ride bikes for 30 minutes Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays but the bikes will have to wait because we can't afford to get the repairs done on ours until after August 1st.

Just so we can keep track of my progress...Right now I weigh 120 lbs. I apparently run a 14 minute mile. I can do 3 pushups, 18 situps, 3 squats and 3 dips. Yes, I know, I am super crazy out of shape but hopefully if I keep with it these numbers will eventually get less disappointing.

Mary or Martha?

Yesterday in church the pastor talked about being Mary vs being Martha. I'll be honest...I was busy trying to hush Justace and probably only heard half of what was said in the pulpit, if that but it did make me think. I've changed so much in the past 10 years or so and not, I think, in good ways. I used to be Mary. I used to be so in love with Jesus and so passionate about my faith. I loved going to church. During worship I sang with all my heart straight to God. Nothing distracted me and I didn't care about anything else. I loved going to Bible studies and learning and talking and asking questions. I loved putting God's word into practice in my daily life.

Today, I'm nothing like Mary. I'm Martha to a tee! I am always moving, always busy. I am always cleaning or organizing or doing something. Having friends over just stresses me out instead of being fun. Instead of just relaxing and talking and having a good time I get so worried about the state of the house or if the food is good or what to say because I have a hard time talking. Even when I force myself to sit down and "relax" I'm not really relaxed at all. I sit there and think about all the things that need doing that I'm not doing in that moment.

I need to stop this. It's OK to keep the house clean and have schedules but I need to be flexible. If I have a pile of dirty laundry and a sink full of dirty dishes and toys scattered all over the floor because I just spent a really great day out with my husband and son and created lasting memories and really fully lived the day and enjoyed every minute isn't that more important in the long run than having a clean home?

East Idaho/Home

Josh had a friend visit this summer so of course we took her around our area of Idaho to show her some of it's beauty and majesty. Here are some photos of the place I now call home.

Me at Cave Falls...about 20 miles or so from the house.

Me feeding Ollie the bear cub at Bear World.

Mesa Falls

My little monkey child

GRATEFUL

1. Beautiful sunshiny summer days to spend with Justace outdoors

2. Great girls I get to work with each day and have so much fun with

3. The man who stopped me in the middle of the road before I turned the corner and hit a tire sitting in the middle of my lane I couldn't see...he risked his life (I could have hit him) in order to save mine and I am eternally grateful

4. My coffee first thing every morning and getting to see the sunrise

5. My son's laughter at so many things each day

6. A husband who is trying to be a better person and pushing me to also be a better person (he suggested we both go to the track before dinner each day now and run together; he suggested we eat healthier meals and is pushing me to do the same and log what we eat each day; he also left some leeway for me to bake still one day per week; he started attending church and pushes me to go on mornings I really don't want to go; and he's working super hard to finish his last class and get his degree and trying to get a good job)

Fishing

I've been fishing twice now this spring/summer and I've caught a fish both times...probably because I told the boys I refused to go home until I caught one. The second time I caught this sucker...a 22.5 inch 4.5 lb rainbow trout. The first time it was much smaller but I was still happy to catch one. I'm falling in love with fishing...just being outside and then catching one and getting to eat what you catch.

Springtime Picnics

Since my computer was being wonky and not working for a while I wasn't able to post photos from when the weather first finally started to get warmer. As soon as the snow melted and it got above 50 degrees I was dying to spend all day outside again. Josh took Justace and I to the park in Rexburg for a picnic and these are the photos from that. Since then Justace and I spend several hours a day outside either walking the block or just reading in the sunshine while he crawls around the grass exploring and eating a salad of dandelions and grass...yum! Such a refined platate. ;-) I hate the freezing cold temperatures and being stuck inside for nearly 9 months of the year and driving on ice but when summer comes it almost feels as though that was all worth it for the sunshine and warmth and beauty.

Yum! Cookie!

I got my hair did after our picnic. It was gorgeous but unfortunately it didn't last. It was supposed to last 6 months but I think maybe all the wind and everything ruined it a bit. It is a bit straighter still but not as nice as this.

Awwww. He loves his daddy.

He was watching some kids fly kites here. Mesmerized.

Roooooooaaaaaar! I'm gonna get you daddy!

My cookie!

Memorial Day

Josh did color guard for the American Legion on Memorial Day and I took photos for them this year. We spent the day visiting all the graveyards nearby and doing a Memorial Day ceremony and putting flags in the grave markers of all the veterans. A few days later we took Justace to visit the grave of his great great grandparents and lay flowers on their grave. Justace had fun crawling all over the marker and playing with the flowers.

Birthday Boy

Justace celebrated his first birthday May 31. He's now officially one year old and moving from babyhood to toddlerhood. I know the next few years will be especially hard but I hope to hold on to all the precious moments to come. Part of me feels sad to be saying goodbye to that precious adorable tiny baby boy but part of me is excited for the next few years of adventure and play and learning and growing. We celebrated his birthday at the local park with hamburgers and brats and of course the famous cake. He loved the cake and all the attention and he really made out like a bandit as far as presents go. I was just happy to have all our friends there and watch the kids play and hang out on a beautiful spring day.

He had his one year appointment yesterday and is healthy and strong. He weighs 20 lbs now and is in the 30th percentile for his age for height and weight so still a bit smaller than average but much better than the 15th percentile he was in before. He's almost walking. He still holds on to things a lot when he walks but he took a whole 6 steps the other day by himself before falling and is getting more brave about trying to walk on his own. I predict he will be fully walking in the next two or three months. He's super active and loves to crawl around and play all day long. He has a ton of energy. He loves books...not so much me reading them to him because he refuses to sit still for any length of time but if I leave books on the floor he will go right for them and open them and point to the pictures and pretend to read out of them. However, he still hasn't picked up any language skills so he's a bit behind there. I read to him twice a day while he's eating and talk to him all the time but it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm not sure how much he understands but he doesn't say any words yet. The doctor said this is fairly normal for little boys though. He said usually girls will develop in the language department earlier and boys won't start talking till much later on so he said not to worry but to keep reading to him.

I made Josh take a photo of us together because I realized while scrapbooking the other day I have practically no photos of the two of us.

Molly, a friend's little girl, loves to entertain and play with Justace.

And the little baby flirt loves all her attention of course.

Justace and Logan playing together during his party. Logan, who is two years old, is the sweetest most well behaved little boy I think I've ever met.

Dad holds Justace while we sing Happy Birthday.

Oh cake slice.

Josh grilled for everyone and it was delicious.

Justace was so excited about his cake he wanted to dive into it.

Logan eats his cake.

First birthday cake. It was way bigger than we realized but that's ok because we have leftover cake forever now.

Justace practiced walking a lot during his party. I think watching all the other toddlers running around encouraged him to try too.

He made such a mess after eating his cake all I could do was take his clothes off and let him play in his diaper.