Drama!

After having a complete mental breakdown and headache that felt it might kill me from the inside due to Justace's constant screaming fits and shear exhaustion I have decided that is enough! I can't control my child. He's going to scream if he wants to scream and there is nothing I can do about it. But I can do something about my own response to it and my personal feelings and the exhaustion factor. I can either listen to him scream on little sleep and stressed out or I can listen to him scream while I'm in a better mood and better able to cope with it. So until we can see a doctor and until he grows out of this screaming phase I am focusing on myself. I am going to start paying friends to watch him during the day so I can sleep when I haven't gotten to sleep in 3 days. I am going to focus on keeping myself calm even if it means sticking in his crib to scream and going to take a hot bath while my music blares to drown him out. We are going to the doctor this week and I hope to God he can give us some advice or some medicine or something to help. Also, he's so close to crawling and I'm hoping once he starts to crawl and once his teeth finally come in maybe that will also lessen the screaming fits. In the meantime, I have to do what I can to keep myself sane. I can't funtion or be a good mother if I'm physically and mentally exhausted.