Being a stay at home mom for almost 6 months now I have the utmost respect for these women. This has to be the hardest job I've ever done and I have so many difficult and rough days where I go to bed feeling as though I must be the worst mom in the history of the world. Stay at home mothers make so many sacrifices that nobody even notices and get no thanks or attention for. They simply do them, most without thinking twice about all they've given up for this most sacred of jobs.
I know if I ever finally do get a job that will also be difficult and a sacrifice in a whole other kind of way. I will have to give up all the time I've had with my son at home. My career will have to come before my family, or at least I will spend more time there than I will with family like I do now.
1. I will finally get alone time...sort of. I feel as though here at home someone always needs me all the time. I'm lucky if I can manage to go to the bathroom or take a shower. Having a job I will get some time away from my family many days so I can think and hopefully be more grateful and enjoy the precious hours I do get to be with them instead of taking these for granted and or even sometimes hating this time and wishing I had some time for me. I can't wait to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee at work with nobody hollering for my attention, even if only for a few minutes before my shift begins for the day. I can't wait to have a whole hour for lunch that belongs solely to me and nobody else. I'm not even sure what I will do with a whole hour of my own!
2. I crave adult time. I love my son but spending all my days with a 6 month old is making me crazy! I want some time talking to adults and having adult conversations. I feel like I'm reverting back to childhood myself at this point. Having other adult co-workers to discuss things other than children will be a welcome relief back to the world.
3. I love being a mom but I so wish I was someone in life other than just mom. Every single day nonstop without end it's all changing diapers and feeding and changing another diaper and changing clothes and cleaning spit up and doing dishes and feeding again and playing. There's no end to this long list of baby related chores. If I had a job I could have goals and work toward bettering myself and doing good at work.
4. Money! I think is probably the big one. Sometimes I get so down on myself for not helping to support our family financially. I'm not used to staying at home and not earning a paycheck to help with things like groceries and baby formula. In addition to necessities if I could earn some money for us maybe we could do more nice things like going out to eat or seeing more movies together and I wouldn't be relying solely on Josh for money. We would both be equals in that area.
5. Something else to focus on. In order to avoid insanity I need something else in my life to focus on other than just Justace.
6. Teaching Justace to be without mom or dad. He has had his mom there for him every day of his life so far. I think it would do him a great deal of good to learn how to be on his own, either with a babysitter or in daycare with lots of other kids his age. I think part of his problem may be simply that he is spoiled. He's used to always getting attention if he fusses long enough. But if he was in an environment where there were other babies he might learn his needs don't always come first.
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